Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Adequetly Complaining About Finals Week


It's that time of year again. No, it's not Christmas, it is that time of year where teachers, whether by force or personal choice, dump cumulative tests on there students. It is generally agreed that these tests are pointless and often include questions that seem half-developed and/or never addressed in the class itself. There are several ways to complain about these torture devices, and each usually fits withing a certain mold.

Part 1 -

Take the name of your course and practice saying it with anger. Practice it with fervor, at least five times in a row every hour. Make sure people hear you muttering the name of the course, that way they can pitch in and get the ball rolling.

Part 2 -

If the muttering fails to attract fellow mutineers, then add either a curse word or strange sound. This works more than you may realize. Either attracts people because they are generally frowned upon. It doesn't hurt to add a minor complaint, either general or focused, about the teacher.

Example: in angry voice "[grumble/curse] [Course Name]! [Insert Teacher's title; Mr. Mrs. Ms., etc.] [Grumble/Curse] [Last Name] can't teach worth a cent!"

Part 3 -

Now that you have someone to share your anger, explain what it is that irritates you about the course. Insert as many curses and comparisons as possible. You may choose to get creative, but if your anger is too strong then it may be safer to stick with tried and true insults, otherwise your anger may turn your fellow's frown to a smile if you start stumbling.

Good insults include [barring standard curse words]:

Booger Breath,

Poop and/or Stupid Head,

Crazy,

Dum-Dum,

[insert choice word here] teacher, etc.

Part 4 -

Now that you have someone's sympathy, be sure to stew in silence every few minutes. By the end of it, you should both be able to lapse into a seething silence like none other. Afterwords, either Caffeinate and/or Sugarify - that way you are ready to go for the next class! Not only is complaining a great stress reliever, but it makes you feel like a pirate about the commit mutiny. Who doesn't love Pirates of the Caribbean?????

*Bonus*

1 - Sometimes you can group classes together by stringing their names and/or teachers names together with multiple curse words. This can create a scare, however, as some may believe you are entering a panic attack. Make sure that you have had way too much Caffeine and that your hair and glasses are askew and messed up. It doesn't hurt to be wearing a baggy sweater. Make sure the complaint is frantic.

2- Another way is to mope throughout the day making random angry noises and grunts during review times. Make sure heavy eyeliner and dark clothing is applied. This option is best for those who enjoy complaining alone.

~


Image taken from: http://public-republic.blogspot.com/2011/01/secrets-to-studying.html

I do not own it.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Book Blurb



"The Boy in the Striped Pajamas"
By: John Boyne

This book...well, it's hard to find words to describe how incredible this novel was. It's one that I plan to read again and again. The viewpoint on such a tragic time in history from the eyes of child made everything so sharp and clear. It did away with all the adult worries about black and white and the shades of grey in between and showed that everyone is equal, at least through the eyes of a child.
Bruno, the main character, is torn from the world he knows when his father's military career decides that he must move. His father is to become a leader of a concentration camp. Bruno hates that he has to lose his friends and home, and for a child as young as he is, it feels like the end of the world. He finally settles in after meeting a strange boy - a boy who wears striped pajamas all day. They accompany each other on short adventures, while Bruno learns more about his new life and the Military that surrounds him.
After reading this novel, not only did I find myself in tears, but I was able to appreciate even more how brutal that period of history was. It was an incredibly believable and extremely well written novel. The limited perspective allowed for an incredibly raw read. The story was bitter sweet - full of goodness and full of sadness. A+++

Rated: PG-13

Book Blurb


"Misery"
By: Stephen King

Beautifully written, startlingly dramatic, and stylistically unlike anything I've every read, Stephen King's "Misery" was a wonderful novel and fast read. It quickly chased away the summer doldrums. The characters are believable, and it is written to be as realistic as possible which adds to the terror. Paul, the lead character, winds up in the care of a crazy, retired nurse. Little does he know how much "Misery" lies in store for him.
I wouldn't recommend it to many people though, it's a very dramatic and graphic book, but the name "Stephen King" is warning enough of that. In this novel, Stephen King provided a startling suspense story and first class writing class. I learned more about the writing process from this book than most of the online or published articles/books that are specifically designed to teach about writing. A thumbs up to Stephen King for this wonderful novel about a novel and it's novelist. Not only was I scared, but I was taught - the best of both worlds!

Rated: R - Strong Caution for the Weak Stomached

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Judas, Gaga, Metaphor, and Thoughts

Gaga surprised her "little monsters" with the unexpected release of her second single from her upcoming album "Born This Way." Earlier this year, she released the lead single, "Born This Way," from which the album takes its name. It received a lot of criticism for its similarity to Madonna's work (i.e. "Express Yourself") and its use of colorful language and racial slurs. However, it still managed to steal the number one spot in several countries, including the United States. With Gaga's follow-up, "Judas," Gaga goes from lightly tousling a few feathers, which she has done since the start of her career, to whipping out a hyper-powered hair dryer and blowing them clean off.


First and foremost, "Judas" is unsettling. It uses the image of one Judas Iscariot. Those familiar with the story will recognize the betrayer of Jesus Christ, the promised Messiah. In the Bible, Judas betrays Jesus to his death with a simple kiss on the cheek, singling him out for those seeking his head. The opening phrase, "I'm in love with Judas," will have most religious people immediately hitting stop on their music players (if the title didn't stop them before) and cursing the existence of the infidel, Gaga.


Me…not so much.


I've listened to the song multiple times. I've also looked into Gaga's reasoning behind the song. The song was written, first and foremost, to portray a bad relationship, one that the speaker (Gaga) can not release herself from:


"Jesus is my virtue,

Judas is the demon I cling to

I cling to" ("Judas", Lady Gaga, 2011)


In this way, if taken at surface value, the theme of the song is not that much different from that of "Bad Romance." It's almost a sequel. In "Bad Romance", Gaga tells of a bad relationship that she has sold herself to, one that she wants but doesn't want at the same time. The song is about wholly selling herself to that relationship, either with a human or, on a greater level, fame and the music industry. "Judas" revolves around the same content. The speaker tells of a man that is loved, but has completely betrayed her, a man that she cannot seem to let go of. This man could be a man….


...But, personally I believe the metaphor goes deeper.


Man is a fallen lot. Every human being clings to some vice, some "sin", that they want gone but can't seem to let go of. The song seems to be addressing the fact that everyone has that one thing - that evil that they want gone. I'm disappointed that the song doesn't exactly address how to dispel it but instead seems to say cleave to and accept it. The song, however presents an excellent metaphor, and it also gives the world a brilliant glimpse into the singer's mindset.


"Born This Way" shows that Gaga wants peace, or at least freedom, for those who are considered "unequal" or "underdogs." (Personally, I preferred P!nk's offering, "Raise Your Glass," but both have their merits.) In "Judas", Gaga seems to point out that she has those "vices", those sins/evils that she cannot seem to let go of. The man, Judas, in the song represents this vice.


Lady Gaga was raised Catholic, so her use of religious symbols is unsurprising - she's done it before. It's also not surprising that she would mix up all the New Testament stories into some twisted mess. In the song, Lady Gaga offers to "wash his feet with her hair" which in the Jesus' time was an act of respect. This fits with the theme of the song, but had nothing to do with Judas. The main biblical reference is a prostitute that Jesus allows to wash his feet, much to the disciple's displeasure, who seem to still be grasping the fact that Jesus came for all, that he was offering hope, not judgment.


Also, Gaga decides that Judas has betrayed her three times. This is a blending of Judas and Peter. Judas betrays the Christ once, in the garden, by planting a kiss upon his cheek and sealing his death. Peter denies Christ three times, and after repentance, he is forgiven. Judas commits suicide, dying in his shame, lost without hope.


Gaga, if looked at closely, has shown that she first and foremost is an artist. She wants to do what she wants to do because she can. She's also slightly out of her mind, and it's gotten worse as her career has progressed. But most artists are. In today's world, she has the artistic freedom to do whatever she wants, which is not always a good thing, but has provided the world with some excellent commentaries. Her exploration of vices began with her second album/EP. Gaga's first release, "The Fame", was an album about partying. In it, that is what Gaga does. She parties. There's not much one can glean from it other than, Money, Sex and Fame are all that matters.


After Gaga's spring into super-stardom, however, she released an extension of "The Fame" entitled, "The Fame Monster". In this she explored the downside of fame, something that before, she had never really seemed to consider much. Gaga's newest album, "Born This Way," has yet to hit the masses, but once it does, I expect that it will create a title wave of thought. Her first two offerings, raunchy and provocative in content, have already stirred the masses - what comes next may create an all out war.


I enjoy Lady Gaga's music for the most part. It's excellent dance music. The thing that bugs me, however, is that the songs are fully loaded thought processes and, no one seems to be stopping and looking into the meaning of the words. It's that way with all modern music. People like Ke$ha, not so much, her message is clear, party; party hard and wake up sick. But the singers out there who are like Gaga are putting out true literature, and it's scary. There's not many people out there who stop and look into the artist's intent or thoughts about their works. What they see is the surface coating, or basic message (most often about bad relationships), and good dance beats.


The masses seem to have divided into two camps: Those who are fans of the party hard music, and those who ban Gaga with a vengeance and paint her as the Anti-Christ incarnate. I prefer the middle ground. I view Gaga as a woman who, at heart, is an extremely talented artist, but I believe that she has begun to lose herself in her persona. Stefani Germonatta, Gaga before she was Gaga, has begun to lose the war between Lady Gaga's two personas. Gaga's public image has cascaded down into a slightly crazed supporter of all things weird.


I hope that Gaga doesn't lose herself because she has a lot to offer the world. Her recent offerings were okay, but the lyrics are confusing, nearly impossible to follow at times, and simply strange. There comes a point when artists who are aiming at provocative, forget that there are lines. Gaga has gotten there. She has the freedom to do what she wants with whatever she can think of, which is dangerous. She has no one double checking her - she's in charge. I cannot wait to hear some of the other tracks from her upcoming album because it's bound to be interesting, but sometimes there are lines that shouldn't be crossed and others that shouldn't be drawn. I hope Gaga takes some time to recoup before her wild ride goes to far.


Peace.
"English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment, and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street." - E. B. White (Charlotte's Web, etc.)