Fun Quote

I love reading and I think it is always awesome when you run across fun word arrangements...enjoy:

"The tiny pixie twirled like a demonic ballerina..."

-Eoin Colfer; Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox

E. B. White Quote

I recently began reading I Before E by Judy Parkinson (a fun compilation of memory tricks to help you remember things: days of the week, months, parts of speech, etc.) and I ran across this amazingly true to life quote:

"English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment, and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street." -E. B. White (Charlotte's Web, etc.)

~

I before E: old-school ways to remember stuff - by Judy Parkinson (c) 2008 Michael O'Mare Books Limited

Funny Phrase

I enjoy rearranging words to create interesting little comments or phrases. This is one i came up with this morning while I was bored.

"Kill one stone with two birds."

The "Duck Butcher" is Free

This is an update of the story that was published in the January 29th edition of "The Ink Blot".

12:34 pm - Jameson Duning was cleared of all charges in a surprise twist earlier this morning. "We at the "Free the Animals" society are furious. Duning should not have gotten away with this. Unfortunately, we were given a restraining order, otherwise we would be protesting outside his house right now!" shouted one of the angry leaders of the local animal rights group that sued Duning. The judge cleared Duning because, as he said in a statement released earlier this morning after the trial, "I fail to see why Mr. Duning doesn't have the right to shoot ducks in his own yard. They weren't endangered and they were being a nusance." Duning, who is very happy to be free, only had this to say, "Finally, some peace!"

Editor’s Note: This is a complete work of fiction and is nothing more than a joke.

Police Arrest Man for Mysterious Duck Shooting Case

12:34 am – Jameson Duning, age 59, was arrested on early Sunday Morning after police received a tip that it was he who had been causing the mysterious duck killings. Dubbed the “Duck Butcher”, Duning was supposedly seen killing several local ducks. “The neighborhood was starting to get concerned about the mysterious killings.” said Police Chief Randy Creig, when asked for comment. Dunning admitted to the crime later Sunday morning, and was fined. “I just couldn’t stand those blasted ducks quaking all day and night right underneath my window. It got to the point that I couldn’t sleep more than two minutes without hearing a duck. I didn’t realize that people would get so riled up about it though. I mean, when I was young, everything was fair game. I even ate duck a couple of times.” It is rumored that a local animal rights group will be suing Duning, but it has not been confirmed. When asked what he thought about the prospect of being sued, Duning had this to say, “Let them come. I don’t have anything that they can take.”

Editor’s Note: Once a week we try to publish a funny little story along with our news piece. This is a complete work of fiction and is nothing more than a joke.



Taken from the January 29, 2009 issue of "The Ink Blot".